I had THAT kind of morning. Am I alone?
Please tell me I'm not alone.
Here's the basic sequence of events, embellished not one bit:
Wake up to both #2's and #3's hungry cries (strange, after eating thrice in the night!).
Change #3's bulging diaper, resolving to tidy up the house today and do a few loads of laundry.
Note that #3's crib bedding needs laundering.
Bounce squalling #3 on hip while pouring bowls of cereal and cups of juice for #'s 1 & 2.
Nurse #3 in spurts, because #1 has decided to pour her own second bowl and has made a mess.
Try to sound genuine while congratulating #1 on a job mostly well done. (She does look apologetic.)
Try nursing #3 again.
Stop nursing, because #2 is crying--she wants to pour her own cereal, too.
Try nursing. Again.
Stop nursing to discipline #1. (She's throwing a whining fit because she's not permitted to fill her milk cup.)
Pour bowls 2 and then 3. WOW, they're hungry.
Give up nursing. #3 has given up already, anyway.
Put in a load of laundry. Ask #3 to get dressed. She wants a dress; retrieve it.
Attempt to clean up breakfast, which certainly must necessitate Red Cross Disaster Relief.
Get #2 dressed and #'s 1 & 2 hair done.
Note that they are getting exceedingly good at destroying their room before 9:30 in the morning.
Pull #1 out of the bathroom. Try not to gag when you notice the toilet brush tipped over.
Wash chubby hands, and thank God for her immune system.
Separate and deal with #'s 1 & 2. They're fighting.
Begin tidying kitchen.
Stop; #3 is irritable and underfoot. Pick her up & continue working.
Ask #1 why #2's hair is covered in stickers.
Put #3 down. She's squirming too much.
Discipline #2. She's coloring the coffee table with a marker.
Change #2's stinky diaper.
Change laundry over.
Follow the sound of #1's voice. She needs her bum wiped.
Note the toilet paper strewn around. Locate #3 and give her a good once-over. Looks okay.
Separate #'s 1 & 2. Fighting again. Give instruction.
Catch a glance in mirror and gasp.
Throw hair into ponytail and clothes onto body.
Investigate screams in living room.
Can't get into living room for the mess. Order #'s 1 & 2 to clean up toys. And stop fighting.
Peel a fussing #3 off of legs. Try to put her down for a nap.
Administer discipline to disobedient 1 & 2, and repeat orders to clean up living room.
Change laundry over.
Remind #1 to stop saying everything in a whiny voice.
Remind #2 to speak kindly to her sister.
Attempt (unsuccessfully) to soothe a crying #3.
Change diaper, and realize #3 is out of diapers.
Put one of #2's size 5's on her.
Set #1 up at table with a small painting project.
Set #2 up with the bubble blower and a toy.
Sweep kitchen floor. Beg God for additional grace.
Admire #1's painting.
Get after #2 for playing in #1's paint. Clean her up.
Clean up #1, too.
Give up on #3's nap. Try nursing again. No luck.
Announce plans to go outside in a few minutes.
Admonish #1 for going outside without supervision. Decide that an extra measure of warning is needed, and inform her that there are bad people who like to steal children and never give them back.
Give lots of hugs upon seeing her grave expression.
Talk about how rules are like fences; they're for our protection.
Thank God for what appears to be successful instruction.
Take several minutes to train #3 not to stick her fingers in the box fan.
Soothe #3. She's tired AND hungry now.
Begin fixing lunch as best as you can with three restless children trying to climb the counters.
Serve lunch. Try to nurse but with little success.
Attempt to lay her down.
Realize that her sheet is still drying.
Remind #'s 2 & 3 not to complain about their food.
Give #3 a couple spoonfulls of rice in the highchair.
Regret it immediately. Clean up rice all over the floor.
Clean up #1's spilled milk.
Do lunch dishes.
Instruct #'s 1 & 2 to clean up their room.
Get after them for arguing and being unkind.
Congratulate on a clean room.
Try to soothe an exhausted #3.
Discover #2 playing in the fireplace, covered in ashes. Give instruction & clean her up.
Head to fireplace to clean up mess.
Take a detour to investigate the cause for #3's crying.
Discover that #1 is covering #3 with her blanket. Administer discipline.
Head to fireplace in a second attempt to clean up mess.
Discover #2 lying in fireplace, covered up to her armpits in ashes.
Earn the Mother-of-the-Year Award with your response.
Clean up #2 again; this time change clothes... all much too harshly.
Realize it's after 2 and naptime is quickly slipping away.
Attempt to put #2 into bed and realize she doesn't have bedding.
Order her sternly to stay in her room.
Pick up fussy #3 and kiss her. Apologize to her for the rough morning we're all having.
Locate bedding. Realize #2's pillow is missing. Search living room.
Instruct #1 to pick up toys in the living room, which strongly resembles tornado damage.
Toss #2 into bed.
Grimace at her heartbroken sobs.
Sit in kitchen floor sobbing your own sobs, with carnage all around, and wonder if you'll ever "get it."
Tuck in #1.
Retrieve #2. Snuggle her, apologizing and asking forgiveness. Kiss her a lot (while also snuggling #3).
Tuck in #2.
Realize she's still in the same onesie that she slept in.
Stroke her chubby cheek and sweaty curls, and regret much of the morning's events.
Ask God for the grace to start the day over after naptime.
Realize why each successive child seems to be more and more easygoing:
It's because they have to be in order to survive.
Ignore the cluttery, dirty house
(It's easier now than it was this morning.),
And collapse onto the small area of your bed that isn't covered in laundry.
At least it's clean laundry.