Wednesday, May 03, 2006

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put Decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish all your sentences w ith "In accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Whenever you go out to eat, order a diet water with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the Opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives; they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......send this to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy.


Heather said...

Thanks for the laughs and smiles this morning! :)

nate, christina, and connor said...

karen, i love this thing! i so wish i worked at an office so i could do some of these things. you've gotta wonder how many people have done some of these.

Vicki said...

This is great--made my day. I, too, wish I could do some of these things--especially the trash can in basket! The diet water order would be amusing too. Good stuff! :)

TwoMuths said...

I actually had a drive through worker ask ME if that would be for here or to go...

Alicia said...

Ha-ha! Thanks for the laughs this morning. Btw, love your new profile picture! How's livvie doing?

Karen said...

Livvie's doing great--kicking and swimming so much in there! This morning I was awakened to her jabs and pokes. I didn't mind, though.

pamela s said...

I feel the need to get my blow dryer out & have some fun!