Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Sovereign God

I copied this from my pregnancy journal, so a couple of you may have already read it. This is a nutshell account of what happened today at our 12-week appointment.

2 weeks ago we tried to hear the heartbeat but couldn't. So we went back today to try...again, nothing. Dr. Kaferle was uncomfortable and awkward, bless her heart; I asked her how worried she was, and she said, "A little. We expect to hear it by this point." She talked very candidly but sensitively about miscarriage; she told us how to spot the heartbeat on the ultrasound machine. Thankfully, we were able to get in for the ultrasound at 10.

Nate and I drove separately, and boy, did I pray in that car! But even though I did pray that the baby was okay, my more earnest prayer was that He'd make me strong and sweet, to accept whatever outcome we found. I was very emotional (still am! crying right now!), but I wasn't a wreck. That was God.

Well, we got there and checked in. Dr. K had told me to drink at least 24 ounces of water, so that my bladder would fill and push my uterus up, making the baby more visible. I did, and by the time we got there, I was literally in pain. My stomach stuck out really far, and it was really tight, and I could barely walk. I've never had to go that badly--it was all I could think about. That was probably God, too, taking my mind off the terrible possibilities.

The technician quickly passed the little wand over my belly. The first thing she said was, "Wow! Your bladder is HUGE!" Then, there it was--our own little baby, its tiny heart thumping 150 beats per minute. I started crying; it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen or heard. Then she told me to go to the bathroom. She said my bladder was so full that she could hardly see anything of the baby! Good grief! For future reference, I now know that 24 ounces is FAR too much!

So she took a few pictures, pointed out a bunch of things...its spine, the 2 lobes of its brain, the 2 forearm bones, eyes, hands, and legs. Absolutely incredible. She also inserted an internal doppler and looked at my ovaries, which I couldn't have cared less about. I really could've looked at the baby all day. Beautiful. (even though it still closely resembles an alien) It was moving all around, waving its arms and twisting. He looked quite comfortable, lounging back like he was sitting in a bean bag chair. Anyway, it's difficult for me to put into words my thanks to the Lord for His gracious answered prayer. The baby is still in His hands, of course. And His hands are far more gentle and secure than mine. Thank you, God.


Shyla said...

ok! crying, blubbering pregnant woman here.
I have experienced first hand what you were going through - and I must say that I have been really praying for you since you told me that you couldn't hear the heartbeat. I guess I am just more sensitive to that stuff, but I didn't want to say anything to you (as to not freak you out or make you worry for nothing). So, as I am reading this post and then looking down to see your little answer to prayer, my heart can't help but well up with joy for you all. God is so good - even in taking our first one - He is soooo gracious in his giving to us. ok ok!! Enough - I didn't apply my make up thick enough to withstand the tears! :) Auntie Shy is very very pleased to hear your wonderful news!
love you,

beck said...

Praise God!!!! I am so glad that you were able to hear the heartbeat. I will continue to keep you and Nate in my prayers.

nate, christina, and connor said...

i'm SO happy for you. i know how amazing it is to see and hear the heartbeat. praise the Lord that everything is coming along smoothly.

and let me warn you, they'll most likely have you drink to a full bladder again, and at that point in your pregnancy....apparently, from the inside, your bladder looks like a soccer ball. i was not aware of this phenomenon until i myself experienced connor's soccer skills. this is not pleasant, but if you can get through that...you can get through labor. :-)

pamela s said...

I haven't gone through what you have, but I am SO happy & relieved for you! Praise the Lord, and I'll pray that the rest of the preganancy goes smoothly.

Genns said...

Josh and I are so happy for you and Nate. I went through almost the exact same thing and it is so scary. But now we have a beautiful healthy baby who is hitting the table as I type. God is so good. I pray that everything will go well from now on. I stopped worrying so much once I could feel the baby move. Oh pregnancy is SOOOO exciting!! I loved it. We will be praying for you.

Tricia said...

Karen, I don't know if you remember me or not from college but it just wanted to say that I'm glad to hear your wonderful news. That happened also with Ian, our first little guy, and the story turned out much the same as yours but I know that's not always the case. The Lord is so gracious -no matter what. We rejoice with you on the health of this baby.