Olivia's Brain--the diagnosis

[NOTE: If you want to skip the whole, detailed recollection, scroll down to the bolded words, "The short version."]

After Olivia's bizarre episode on August 5, I took her to the pediatrician's office right away the next day.  I begged God that the doctor would listen well to us and take the situation seriously. We just knew that this was a big deal. I also prayed for restraint, in the event that he tried to tell me she had only fainted or something. Heaven help him if he did!

Thank the Lord, we didn't need to worry about that, because Dr. H took the situation very seriously. He suspected that Olivia had a seizure. He ordered an EKG that was performed in the office right away, a full round of bloodwork, a urine test (including drugs), and a test of her blood pressure.  All those things came back normal. 

The same day, Dr. H referred us out to a pediatric neurologist in Detroit. He warned us that we might not be able to get in for a couple weeks or more, but thank God we got an appointment a mere 3 days later! 

The neurologist (also Dr. H, incidentally) suspected seizure right away as well. He immediately ordered an EEG and an MRI. Neuro Dr. H was very interested in Liv's headaches, as she had been having them for quite some time. Like, 4 years. He was so thorough. 

Fast forward to August 31. Nate took Olivia down to Detroit for her MRI. This was sort of a last-minute decision, for him to take her instead of me. I needed to go grocery shopping, and I was tired of appointments already, so I relented. When I pulled into our driveway with a vanload of groceries and he called me, I assumed he was going to tell me that they'd stopped for dinner. But when I answered the phone, I couldn't hear what he was saying. I heard, "Babe," and then lots of noises I couldn't make out. I knew he was talking, but I couldn't understand him. I pictured the two of them in a ditch somewhere, and I started freaking out. 

Finally, Nate composed himself and said through tears the words no parent wants to hear. 

"Babe, they found something."

He was so upset, and I felt that I had to be the calm one right then.

"Okay. It's okay, Babe, what is it? What'd they find?"

"They don't know. A mass? Malformation or something? They want to admit her and do more tests."

And oh my goodness, I can't breathe. 

"I'm coming. I'll be there as soon as I can. It's gonna be okay. I'll see you soon."

I called Nate's mom. 

Put perishables away.

Had Ellia and Brienna pack their overnight bags.

Tried my dead-level best not to cry in front of them.

Texted Nate, "Ps.56:3"

Fed Clayton.

Packed a bag for Nate and for me.

Drove the most agonizing hour-plus I've ever driven. 

Clayton senses my tension, perhaps, and is full-on crying for the last 15 minutes of the drive. I'm passing toys back to him, talking to him, praying out loud. Now I can't find the hospital. There are so many hospital buildings in Detroit, so close together. I'm driving around, crying, and I pull in where I think I belong. 

It is a VA hospital. 

I call Nate, and I'm losing it on the phone. I'm so close and I can't get there! Then I turn around because a car is approaching, and I swear it was an angel sent from God for me. 

"Children's?" he says. "Oh, just around the corner. Follow me, I'll take you."

NO WAY. Jesus, you're too good!

He slows waaaaay down, and I think this means that I'm supposed to park in here. I pull in to the right and realize, too late, that this is still wrong! I throw the car in park, with my baby screaming behind me, and sob into the steering wheel. "Jesus, help me!"

Beep-beep!

The angel! He's back! He says, "We're almost there. Come on. I'll stick my arm out when you need to turn."

Now I'm laughing. God's got this, despite my best efforts to make a mess of it all.

Parking garage. Diaper bag. Overnight bag. Baby. Keys. Phone.

Nate takes me through the halls to her room. Right away he pulls up her brain scan for me to see:

It looks monstrous. 

I simultaneously shudder at the sight of that mass...

and stare in awe at the (almost) perfect symmetry.

And wow, a brain really does look like a walnut in these images. They're not kidding.

(the things that cross your mind...)

The short version is:

Olivia has a cavernous angioma (aka "cavernoma") in her left occipital lobe, basically behind her left ear. This is a tangled-up mass of malformed blood vessels that has been with her since birth, maybe before, and has grown with her. Occasionally it will ooze and bleed, causing trauma to the surrounding brain tissue. This is responsible for the years of headaches, for the strange vision disturbances, and the Big One--the seizure. The bright white area is thought to be the remains of old, dried blood from previous hemorrhages. She needs to have surgery to have the angioma removed, or it will continue to cause problems, which could be very grave. 

Olivia will have brain surgery on October 9 in Detroit. We are confident that God will always do what is right and best. Please pray for all of us. The surgeon is highly optimistic about the projected outcome and Liv's recovery; however, our true hope and trust is our Great Physician!

Psalm 139